When should I start schooling my child?

I have many moms of 3 and 4 year olds ask when they should start homeschooling and what curriculum they should use. When I first started homeschooling 8 years ago, I too wanted to start my 3 year old in home school. Now 8 years later, I have a 4 year old and we have not done any formal school. Why do we feel the pull to start our kids in early education? Early education is important but not how you think. Early education may have started for a few different reasons. First, parents work and needed a place for kids to go that was affordable. Second, as schools saw a decline in test scores it was thought that we needed to start kids earlier in education and this is partially true. I worked in a high poverty school where 85% of our kids were on free and reduced lunch. Many kids coming into our 4 year old program had never held a pencil. They lacked experience in the basic life skills of play. Maybe they had been placed in front of a TV for most of their upbringing for a variety of reasons. This caused them to be behind compared to a child that had a variety of experiences coming to school. So since the public schools do something a certain way I think we feel a cultural pressure to do the same with our kids so they don't "fall behind."

I'm here to tell you to rest. Given my experience I would not start a child with formal school until they were at least 5 years old but probably 6. I also think it depends on the child. If I child is showing interest I may do some formal school with them but our goal is to instill a love of lifelong learning. If we start too early, we may force education on a child that isn't ready and in turn rob them of the joy of learning. So what should you do with your 3 and 4 year old? Turn off the TV and play! Go outside for a walk and point out what you see. They don't have to understand it all. Have conversations. Show them a bird that is eating a worm, taking a bath, or making a nest. Point out flowers in the various stages of growth. Let them help you plant your garden. Take them to the pool. Take them to museums and historical sites. Go for bike rides and talk about what you see. Point out colors, shapes, letters, and numbers. Provide lots of unique toys for them to play with. Read to them! Take them to programs at the local library. There is no need to teach them to read or do formal math. Count the petals on a flower. Play hopscotch and count the squares. Let them help you cook and talk about the measurements. They won't completely understand it all but that's' ok. When they are finally ready to start kindergarten check out this post.

I will write another post with some of the things we use for play or that we have on hand for my preschooler to engage with. As they have various experiences it helps them to make connections. Think about a child in kindergarten reading about the zoo. They will have no connection if they have never been to a zoo. They can only imagine it. This a simple example yet these connections are very important. Think about reading about the Eiffel Tower or the mountains or the Grand Canyon having never experienced them. Your perspective is quite different.

One final thought. Our flesh has a tendency to want to compare our kids to what other kids are doing in public school or homeschool but there are a few things I want you to keep in mind.

1) Each child has different strengths. I am very good at executing tasks and getting things done but I am not so great at making things look pretty. I do not have a eye for design. Just like one kid may love math and science and another may struggle. So we may want to compare but we may be comparing our child's weakness to another child's strength.

2) Starting a kid sooner may help them to be ahead at first but as the years go on the gap closes and starting in about high school the average child is at the same level. Remember too if one child is ahead they may have an interest in this subject or simply have had more experience with it.

3) There is an entire list of scriptures about comparison (check them out here) Comparison can help us to figure out where we need to improve or ways we can become better at certain tasks if done so in a healthy way. Rather than becoming discouraged by another moms success we could simply ask her for some help and guidance in an area where we are struggling. This is another great article on the topic.

Remember to relax and to create long lasting relationships with your kids. Enjoy the time you have with them because it goes so super fast. Feel free to reach out with questions and best of luck with your preschoolers!

Jessica